Friday, January 23, 2009

Things I Shouldn't Have Done Before CNY

There are things that shouldn't be done in Chinese New Year. Something which considered bringing bad luck such as...

listening to new year song like this,

video

正月一来迎春火呀哀。。ai ai。。。
迎春火灾人人哀。。ai ai。。

迎春火呀处处哀呀
醒呀醒不来
醒不来呀醒不来呀
大地放棺材
迎春哇做么大火灾?
黑黑,哎哟那么黑?!
迎春火灾人人哀。。ai ai。。

人人都把迎春火儿哀。。ai ai。。
无油无米了自宰。。ai ai。。。
脸黄似猪容易火呀
切莫再烟霾
多烟霾呀多烟霾呀
死光不等待
迎春哇做么大火灾?
黑黑,哎哟那么黑?!
迎春火灾人人哀

and going around the office shaking hands with bosses and colleagues wishing them...


"Keep in touch!"

Happy 牛 Year and all the best!


Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Message From Bush To Obama

To my bro, Ballack Hussein Osama, Oops! Barack Hussein Obama,

First of all, I would like to congratulate you for being elected as the next President of United States of America. I must tell you that being the President of the nation is a proud and honorable task. However, I can assure you that this is not an easy task. Like what they always said:"With great power comes great responsibility."




I will soon step down as the President of the United States. But before I do so, I would like to give you some heads-up and advice on the status of the country.

First thing you will need to do is to stock-up the Tomahawk and other ballistic missiles. I have used up most of them in Afghanistan and Iraq. By the way, Tomahawk is not my fault! It's been running low on stock since I got the job from Clinton. He used up most of them in Yugoslavia.



Don't worry about the expired missiles. I have sold them to Israel. Yeah! The missiles that hit the UN office recently were those that beyond the expiry date. You know lar, the targeting system always gives problem after the missile is expired.

We have found the water pistol, oops! I mean the weapon of mass destruction in Iraq. It's underneath the oil fields. We have secured all the oil field in Iraq and should be able to locate the weapon after we have done digging the oil.



Osama Bin Laden? Don't worry lar, we will not torture your relative one, sure give you face mah! But can you recommend him to consider our M16 or Carbine rifles when you meet him next time? Don't always stick with AK47 lar.


I must apologize for not doing a good job on the economy. As you can see, I was too busy firing up missiles in Iraq and Afghanistan. Anyway, I think you better print more US Dollar bills. I have almost finish spending half of the 700 billion cash to clear my debts in sub'marine'-prime mortgage. There is still another 350 billion for you to save AIG, Citibank, GM, Chrysller, Ford and lots more.







Here's my suggestion, try asking Maybank in Malaysia to invest in Citibank. I'm sure they will be interested since they were stupid enough to spend big money to acquire banks in Thailand and Indonesia.




You may also consider getting Proton to join venture together with either GM or Ford. Do you still remember what happened after they bought MV Agusta? They like to pay big money to buy automobile makers and then sell it with one euro.




Their country want to boycott US products? Don't worry about that silly old man, what do you think he can use to update his blog if he boycotts our Intel or AMD chips? Their country can only make potato chips!




I think that's about it for my advice. I will leave it to you for bombing Iran, Syria, and North Korea. Make sure you have enough missiles before starting the fight. Be really careful with the Chinese, although we were lucky to get away from their melamine attack. But we will not know what's the next secret weapon they will use against us!

Oh yeah! One last piece of advice,




remember not to show your finger next time when you give speech.

Your best pal,
George W. Bushit


Monday, January 19, 2009

Men Use Wallet While Women Use Tupperware

Men are simple. We need only a wallet. We kept our I.C, driving license, credit card(s) and etc. inside the wallet. We seldom change our wallet unless it's completely spoiled.


I have changed my wallet after last year after using the previous one for 10 years since high school.

Women, on the other hand are not so simple. They kept their I.C, driving license, credit card(s), MNG card, Esprit card, Vincci card, Jusco card.... whatever cards inside their purse.


Then, they will put the purse inside their handbag, claiming that the purse is too thick to put into pockets.

Other than that, they will keep their hand phone inside the handbag as well. They like to buy thin and tiny hand phones. But no matter how small and slim the hand phone is, they still insist to put it inside the bag.



Sometimes they said the handbag is too small, they can't put their make-up set, lipsticks, lotion, hand cream, hair cream, perfume, tissue papers, 'women stuff' & etc. So they need to put the handbag into a larger handbag.


After all these troubles, I think what they really want is a Tupperware set...





And a helpless, pity guy to carry for them.





Friday, January 16, 2009

It's Friday!

One week flies again... (dear colleagues, sounds familiar hor?) It's Friday again!

Time pass by in just a blink of eye when you are busy with your work. I feel like Hiro Nakamura was beside me in the office to speed up the time.



I think I should celebrate the day with some nice food and drinks. Since today is Friday, I believe TGI Friday's will be the best choice to go for.




Monday will come even faster, so we should enjoy ourselves as much as possible during the weekends. When Monday comes,
we shall 'celebrate' Monday blues in this new restaurant in town!
.
.
.
.
.

CxBxi It's Monday's


(Pls forgive me if this word have offended some of you. I can't find a better word to describe Monday other than this one.)

Thursday, January 15, 2009

How To Make Your Blog Popular

My blog is relatively new, I have to do something to increase its popularity!

So, I did some research on the Internet to see why some blogs are so famous.


Some said, in order to make your blog popular, you should choose an interesting topic and write your articles by focusing on that particular subject only.


That's why some of the bloggers write on food, and some even named it Food Blog, they are determined not to write anything other than food!



I like to eat too! But just before I start writing something on food,




I found that there are just too many people writing on food. Better don't waste too much of my time fighting in this competitive market. So I looked for something else.

Maybe technology blog is not a bad idea
also ?




But how can a person like me who changed his hand phone ONCE in SEVEN YEARS write a techno blog?


My old Nokia 8250 that has been used for 7 years. I decided to change it because the phone's speaker & tranceiver are spoiled. It no longer functions as a phone.

And shame to tell that my desktop pc is still the old Pentium 4 which I have been using since my college days, and the battery that kept the clock running on the CMOS is dead.

Again, I have to look for alternatives.

Maybe photography is a good idea?


I think so, but that will have to wait until I buy a REAL digital camera to replace my K810i 3.2M pixel camera phone.




Shxt! I'm running out of ideas. What should I do?



I wanted to give up! But at last I have finally discovered the secret formula of getting your blog famous!





I found that as long as you post your sexy, hot (or preferably naked?) and pretty photos on your blog, the blog will become popular in no time!

Although I'm not a sexy hot chick, but I'm glad that I have inherited the perfect genes from my parents. Without hesitations, I have decided to put my photo on my blog immediately !


.
.
.
.
.



Please don't tell me I look like Brad Pitt anymore, I'm sick of being his shadow!



Sunday, January 11, 2009

Engineering Terms in Daily Life

Engineers used a lot of engineering terms while chatting in our daily activities.

When we're waiting in long queue at restaurant, we said the stall cannot Ramp.




Homemade donuts are referred as Engineering Samples, and the one in J Co. Donuts are Mass Production. When the size of the donuts are very different from each other, we say the Cpk is low.


My engineering samples


We described women as Analogue Circuit because they are very susceptible to Noise (emotion), and you need to do Characterization in order to fully understand them.

Sometimes you need to make an Engineering Judgment when they are moody because you do not have sufficient Sample Size to support your decision as they refuse to tell you what they have in mind.


When we met with a group of ladies, we usually performed Sorting across the Sample Distribution and build up Database. The pretty ones will be considered as Bin 1, and the ugly ones will be categorized as Reject Bin or Yield Loss.


Bin 1


Reject Bin or Yield Loss


If there aren't enough pretty women among the group, we said the Yield is low. This will initiate Low-Yield-Trigger and we might need to revise our Spec Limit so that we can get something out of it. But most of the time, we'll try our best to stick to our ISO standards.

Ladies that are so ugly like her are described as Design Error or Infant Mortality.


Design Error

However for women like her,


Surfacing and 3D Rendering

We would say she have done some Surfacing and 3D-Rendering to become pretty.

Sometimes when people asked us questions which we cannot answer immediately, we usually replied them "Let me perform some Engineering Studies and Simulation.".

But one ULTIMATE term that was frequently used by my ex-colleague would be....

Dunno Lar!

My dear team-mates, cheers!

Note:
1) Ramp is the process to increase a production line's capacity in a short period.

2) Cpk is the measure of the process capability or how well a production line can produce goods in same consistency.

3) Yield is the rate of a production line to produce good parts.

4) Low-Yield-Trigger is a process initiated when the yield of a process drops lower than the critical stage.

5) Characterization is a process to determine the behavior of a system.

Friday, January 9, 2009

I have Buddy!

One of the intentions for me to start this blog was to talk bad about Penang people and exposing their bad habits. Which is also the reason for the birth of "Penang CB Lang" category inside my blog.




After a few posts of "Penang CB Lang", some of my friends asked me:

"Don't you afraid your life might be in danger?"

In fact, sometimes I did worry about it. That's the reason I haven't put too much personal information on my profile. However, this will not stop me from continue writing on "Penang CB Lang"!

But sometimes I wonder whether I'm the only person doing this?

I feel so lonely...




Hey! Not this kind of lonely okay!




But today I'm not alone any more! I have finally found my buddy!


This is the english version blog for PENANG BAD HABITS STORY. We share and discuss about BAD HABITS which has been found in Penang. But this doesn't mean that those BAD HABIT we published here are only available in Penang. Please mind of the language and grammer that using here, because my english is terrible type.


Looks like I'm not the only person who thinks Penang lang really jialat after all.


Wednesday, January 7, 2009

0.2%

Congratulation to the Polis Di Raja Malaysia armed forces in Penang!

After 20 YEARS of hard work and determination to fight against criminals, they have successfully reduced the crime rate by 0.2%!!!


News from Sin Chew Jit Poh regarding Penang crime rate reduced by 0.2%


The total report logged in year 2008 was 17642 cases, 34 cases less than year 2007! What an achievement!!

I feel so proud because I have significantly contributed to this great achievement, by failing to log reports regarding the weekly Mat Rempit gathering at Yap Chor Ee F1 circuit behind my house!


video
Mat Rempit gathering at Yap Chor Ee road every Friday & Saturday nights


video
Mat Rempit gathering at Yap Chor Ee road every Friday & Saturday nights


Yes! Malaysia Boleh!

Let us target to reduce another 0.3% for the next 20 years!



Sunday, January 4, 2009

Nin Chor Sei (年初四) Face

Tomorrow will be my first day to work again for 2009 after twelve days of holiday.

I spent eight of the twelve days in Ipoh, living a fairly boring and primitive life without broadband internet connection, watching Astro's repeating TV programmes day and night.




Out of these eight days, I spent five of them eating medicine. I had high fever the day just before I started my holiday.


Luckily I was able to drive back home.

It has been grateful for me of having the chance to stay with my family for the long holiday. Frankly speaking, I have not been able to accompany my parents so frequent after I started working.

Anyway, I have to get back to work again. :| I know my LCD monitor and telephone in office have been missing me for a long time.






My dear colleagues, please find something to entertain me if I show you all nin chor sei kind of face tomorrow...


video




 

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