Parents and Computer

I never thought that getting my parents to learn to use a pc is a tough task, until last week when I was teaching my parents how to use a computer, after setting up the pc in my dad's company.

Me:" Ma, you press this button to power-on the computer."
Mother:"OK."

Me:" Then you double click the icon here to connect to Internet."
Mother:" How to double click?"

Me:" You point your mouse to the icon here then click two times."
Mother:" How? Where's the mouse (pointer)?"

Problem 1: My mum has presbyopia problem, she can't locate the mouse pointer...



So I set the mouse pointer to extra large.

Mother:" Ok, I can see the pointer."
Me:" So you click two times on the icon."
Mother:" Cannot one?"
Me:" You have to put the pointer on top of the icon then only double click."
Mother:" Still cannot one, the mouse always run away one?"

Problem 2: It's not easy for old folks to control the mouse (even with a very slow pointer speed), their fingers response is not fast enough to produce double-click-action either.

Me:" Never mind lar, you move the pointer on top of the icon, click once, then press enter."



Problem 2 solved.

Me:" Nah, now you can type in the website address here to go the website you want to see."
Mother:" How come there's only half a picture here?"
Me:" You have to scroll down to the lower part of the page to read mah."
Mother:" Har? How to scroll."
Me:" Use the middle wheel button of the mouse lor, you move the wheel forward will move the page to upper part, then move the wheel backward or towards you will move the page to lower part lor.
Mother:" Oh like that lar. Then after read I want to go back to just now that part (previous page) how ar?"




Problem 3: Things we got so used to like scrolling the page, click on links, go back, go to home, use Google... etc. Things that are so embedded into our lives are like alien to them.

Me:" You click this button to go back to the previous page, then if you move your pointer to here, you can see the pointer becomes a hand with finger pointed out, it means you can click here to go inside and see another page, then you do this... that... "

Mother:" Sei lor, I forgot how to start again..."

Problem 4: After you teach them a lot, they will forgot how to start again.

So I print screen and put the images inside a word document, circled and pointed out the icon and critical areas, write down all the instructions and steps to start, operate, how to write email and etc.




Me:" Next time if you forget the steps, you can open this file to read back the instructions."
Mother:" Ok... how come this one different one? How to use this one? How do I go back to just now? "

Problem 5: When you try to introduce another way to help them, it creates more problems.

After my mum's section, I showed my dad the web page I have created for the company.

Me:" Ah Ba, this is the web page of our office."
Father:" Need money or not?!?"
Me:" No need. I have also put in our company profile and contact inside these B2B website to introduce our company."
Father:" Need money or not?!?"
Me:" No need, they will tell us straight away if we need to pay."
Father:" Sure or not? Later only they charge us how?!? Are you really sure no need to pay!?!"
Me:" No neeeeed..."
Father:" ... sure or not!?"
Me:"..."

Problem 6: They always worry how much they need to pay for free.

After all these, I think I can start a business in Ipoh...

PS: I'm still proud of my parents, they have already started using outsource model for their business 30 years ago while the MNCs in Penang starting to talk about out-sourcing today. A success of a business is not judged by using a computer, but the people who manage it.

Why Men Always Bullied By Women

When we were little boys...

We play guns.

Hide and seek.


When we were teenagers...

We play sports.


Video games.



When we were young adults, while playing with our "guns" we started to tackle girls.




But it was until we grown up become a man, only we started to seriously talk about girls.



After being bullied.

When they were little girls...




When they were teenagers...




When they were young adults...




When they grown up...




When they were old...



They gather together... doing what?

TALK About Guys lor!

This is like Malaysia army fight with US army, we are 30 years behind their technology.

How to fight?

Horniday

I never understood why people like to go clubbing. It is so crowded that you literally have no place to sit or stand. The music is so loud that you have to shout to your friend instead of talk. The drink you order can easily cost ten times higher than Tesco.




And yet, there are still whole lot of people queuing outside the club trying to pay and go inside!

But it was until my good bad-friend Ah Sin enlightened me to the maximum when he brought me to clubbing in Poppy (one of their usual favourite have-fun spot) during my horniday holiday visit to KL last week.

I realised why the music has to be so loud and strong. Because when you leaned near to the ear of the girls try shouting to them, you can smell their hair and guess what is the shampoo they are using. But more importantly, you can have a close-up view of their cleavage while nodding your head to talk to them.




I realised why people are trying to go in even though the place is so crowded. Because when the place was so congested, you have to hold the hands and waist of the girl, dragged them towards you and protect them when you want to look at their cleavage talk to them.

I realised why people don't sit inside there. Because you want to stand up and dance in the music, you stand up so that you can have a clear view on the people dancing on the stage. But more importantly, it's very hard to prevent up-skirt when you sit down with mini-skirt.




I also realised why ladies try not to wear so many clothes while clubbing. Because it's so damn hot and people are sweating inside there. The guys were busy rubbing their hands on the body of the girls thoroughly to help drying up their sweat.

Then I realised sometimes things are not used in the way they meant to be. You can't put your beer on the table when someone is dancing on it. You went in to the gents but suddenly doubted whether you were in the correct place because the person shouting inside there doesn't sounds like a man. You realised your wallet have to contain something start with 'c' other than your money and IC.

I realised life is good again.

Pointless

What's the fxxking point of having this sign here while we can only move in the speed of 2in./min?

Mengecomplicatedkan

I have just gone through some of my patents recently and I find that all the patent attorneys like to write stuff in a very complicating way.

Here's some of the examples:

Eg 1:

"The switch panel of claim 1 wherein said light converter comprises a light collector that collects a portion of said light generated on said third surface and couples said collected portion to said light analyzer."

Eg 2:

"The method of claim 17 wherein said capturing said color image includes capturing said color image of said scene of interest using an exposure period that is longer than an exposure period used to capture said grayscale image."

Eg 3:

"The method of claim 14 wherein each of said photodiodes generates a dark current in the absence of light being received by said photodiodes and wherein said first and second output signals depend less on said dark current than said first and second photodiode output signals."

They make me feel like this when I read them.

So, in-order to understand what he's trying to say, I strike out the "wherein"s and "said"s.


Eg 1:

"The switch panel of claim 1 wherein said light converter comprises a light collector that collects a portion of said light generated on said third surface and couples said collected portion to said light analyzer.

Eg 2:

"The method of claim 17 wherein said capturing said color image includes capturing said color image of said scene of interest using an exposure period that is longer than an exposure period used to capture said grayscale image."

This make me feel like this.

But for this one, after striking out all the "wherein" and "said", I still can't understand what he's trying to say.

Eg 3:

"The method of claim 14 wherein each of said photodiodes generates a dark current in the absence of light being received by said photodiodes and wherein said first and second output signals depend less on said dark current than said first and second photodiode output signals."

This is so mengecomplicatedkan...