iLove iPhone

I love my iPhone.

When I came across with nice songs, I will Shazam to check the name and the singer of the song.


Check the traffic status on Penang bridge with my iPhone before going back Ipoh on Friday.


Although Penang bridge is still jammed everyday after expanding to three lanes and it doesn't make any difference to your schedule whether you check or don't check.


I read news in kopitiam or hawker center while waiting for food.


Chat on Skype and play Angry Bird while waiting in ridiculously slow government agency.


Log on to facebook, check weather, stock market & currency rate while queuing up in McD. Watch Youtube while eating alone. Listen to iPod while traveling, pretend like very busy businessman in Starbucks... and much more to do.

But the most important is...

I will not feel bored again while attending wedding dinners which I do not have a lot of mutual friends with the bride or bridegroom.

Sitting inside meeting room with whole bunch of Turkish and French talking to each other with their mother tongue during business trip, and not being able to understand a word.

And waiting for Ms. Koh outside lingerie shop and hair salon.

Er... go in or not go in ar?

Kitchen

Genius

Green light! Kia!

When Shit Happens

This post is inspired by Ms. Koh 2's "Ang moh 红毛" post.

When shit happens,

The British will say "Bloody hell!".

American will say "Jesus Christ!".

Chinese will say "糟糕了!".

Taiwanese will say "干!".

Malaysian will say "Shit!".

Singaporean will say "Oh my god!".

Hongky will say "憋家伙!".

Cantonese will say "Diu lor...".

Hokkien will say "Jia lat liao!".

Penang CB lang will say...

CIBAI!

How Shit Happens

When engineers report to their managers.

Engineer:"The yield from the pre-manufacturing process verification build is too low. The design and chosen material of the product is not manufacturable. We cannot improve the process any more. We need to perform a total re-design in order to proceed for product release!"

When managers update to their senior managers.

Manager:"The yield of the manufacturing process is not optimum yet. We need to further optimize the process, and fine tune the product design which might pro-long the time line a bit.

When senior managers update to VPs.

Senior Manager:"The engineers are optimizing the process now. We should be able to improve the yield after optimization and the project is on schedule for product release and we will able to accept order after product release."

Finally, when VPs update to CEO.

VP:"We are on schedule for mass production and deliver the customer order."

Happy New Year

While all the youngsters went to Queensbay Mall for beach party countdown, all the chics went club to countdown, Ms. Koh went back to Banting to countdown,




I'm enjoying my Jack Daniel's with coke during this moment...

Happy New Year!

Cheers~

Parents and Computer

I never thought that getting my parents to learn to use a pc is a tough task, until last week when I was teaching my parents how to use a computer, after setting up the pc in my dad's company.

Me:" Ma, you press this button to power-on the computer."
Mother:"OK."

Me:" Then you double click the icon here to connect to Internet."
Mother:" How to double click?"

Me:" You point your mouse to the icon here then click two times."
Mother:" How? Where's the mouse (pointer)?"

Problem 1: My mum has presbyopia problem, she can't locate the mouse pointer...



So I set the mouse pointer to extra large.

Mother:" Ok, I can see the pointer."
Me:" So you click two times on the icon."
Mother:" Cannot one?"
Me:" You have to put the pointer on top of the icon then only double click."
Mother:" Still cannot one, the mouse always run away one?"

Problem 2: It's not easy for old folks to control the mouse (even with a very slow pointer speed), their fingers response is not fast enough to produce double-click-action either.

Me:" Never mind lar, you move the pointer on top of the icon, click once, then press enter."



Problem 2 solved.

Me:" Nah, now you can type in the website address here to go the website you want to see."
Mother:" How come there's only half a picture here?"
Me:" You have to scroll down to the lower part of the page to read mah."
Mother:" Har? How to scroll."
Me:" Use the middle wheel button of the mouse lor, you move the wheel forward will move the page to upper part, then move the wheel backward or towards you will move the page to lower part lor.
Mother:" Oh like that lar. Then after read I want to go back to just now that part (previous page) how ar?"




Problem 3: Things we got so used to like scrolling the page, click on links, go back, go to home, use Google... etc. Things that are so embedded into our lives are like alien to them.

Me:" You click this button to go back to the previous page, then if you move your pointer to here, you can see the pointer becomes a hand with finger pointed out, it means you can click here to go inside and see another page, then you do this... that... "

Mother:" Sei lor, I forgot how to start again..."

Problem 4: After you teach them a lot, they will forgot how to start again.

So I print screen and put the images inside a word document, circled and pointed out the icon and critical areas, write down all the instructions and steps to start, operate, how to write email and etc.




Me:" Next time if you forget the steps, you can open this file to read back the instructions."
Mother:" Ok... how come this one different one? How to use this one? How do I go back to just now? "

Problem 5: When you try to introduce another way to help them, it creates more problems.

After my mum's section, I showed my dad the web page I have created for the company.

Me:" Ah Ba, this is the web page of our office."
Father:" Need money or not?!?"
Me:" No need. I have also put in our company profile and contact inside these B2B website to introduce our company."
Father:" Need money or not?!?"
Me:" No need, they will tell us straight away if we need to pay."
Father:" Sure or not? Later only they charge us how?!? Are you really sure no need to pay!?!"
Me:" No neeeeed..."
Father:" ... sure or not!?"
Me:"..."

Problem 6: They always worry how much they need to pay for free.

After all these, I think I can start a business in Ipoh...

PS: I'm still proud of my parents, they have already started using outsource model for their business 30 years ago while the MNCs in Penang starting to talk about out-sourcing today. A success of a business is not judged by using a computer, but the people who manage it.